New Monologues by Tony Yajko
Sunday, August 30, 2009
LAURA:
I remember when Toni and I finally told my parents. They came to Boston to help us move into my new apartment and I kind of figured my mom knew what was going on, but my Dad was totally clueless. So anyway, we got all our furniture moved in and my Dad says to me, "sweetie, where is your bed?" I was totally speechless. And then there was this dead silence where nobody knew what to say. And I think that's when it finally sank in. My folks didn't speak to me for a year... said they "needed time to accept us". Last summer we went on vacation in Cape Cod and Toni came along. Well as soon as my father saw her get out of the car with me he says, "Did you have to bring her along?" Toni just looked at my father and said... "Well, it would be a little weird if I didn't invite your daughter."
-- From Connecting Flight by Tony Yajko
DOM:
It was the same way with Cathy, the same way with you and same way with the guys we worked with. When we worked a ten hour shift and get back to the house at three in the morning, all Cathy had to say to this man was how he'd better shower quietly, not leave his dirty clothes on the floor, better not wake the kids. All the while I bit my damn tongue. Yeah it's true; he took me in and gave me a place to sleep. If his old lady wanted to yack at him and he decided it was okay - then what right did I have to complain? But dammit, one night, one damn night we hit a few bars after work and come back a little smashed. Oh, I know all about little Malcolm's twelve steps. That whiskey is the devil's water. It can make you act all kinds of crazy. But damn it! It was just one night we needed to take a break and blow off some steam. The building was complete, we were off probation. It was a night to celebrate so I convinced him to drink some well-deserved shots at the bar. Mikey and the all the guys were with us... they couldn't understand why Malcolm and I were hanging out together, but they just figured he was high off the stuff. But shit, when we got back to the house Cathy had to open her mouth, it doesn't matter how many times we crept up the stairs as silent as apparitions. The one night we lose the keys and have to break down the door and she gets her panties in a bunch. One of those cases of hindsight being twenty-twenty. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but then again, we were pretty shit-faced.
-- From Leather Bound Concrete by Tony Yajko
More Monologues by Karen Jeynes
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Now presenting excerpts from I'll Have What She's Having:The Narwaiter, the play's narrator & waiter in Cape Town Mpumi, a sophisticated lawyer who yells at tourists Louis, a salesman romancing his wife of 20 years Devon, trying to placate his girlfriend
New Monologues by Karen Jeynes
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Karen Jeynes is a writer, director, producer and stage manager tending towards comedy. Everybody Else (is Fucking Perfect) is the winner of the PANSA/NLDTF Best Comedy Award 2005. It was published by Junkets Press in 2006.
CATHY:
The thing is, the thing is - I knew. I knew he was gay when I married him. I've always known. The first time I saw him he was with another man. He doesn't know, obviously he doesn't know... I just wanted a husband, and I knew Gavin needed a wife, for appearances, for his family, for his work. Gavin will never have the courage to come out, so he will look after me, and the kids... This way I can stay home while my husband goes to work, the kids can have everything they need: a perfect happy family, you know, two parents, two kids. Everything perfect - except that he's gay. But that doesn't worry me, I mean, I know he'll be safe, and I don't really care if he goes out and has boyfriends, and... I'm happy this way.
JARED:
How can you just fucking sit there and deny everything you are? I'm sorry, I know this is "none of my business" and you and Cathy like your little fantasy world where it's perfectly fucking normal for you to marry her but go out for boys on the side every weekend. But then what, Gavin? What happened to your first marriage, did the lies ever get too much for you, did you ever stop and think that you were killing yourself every fucking day by pretending to be something you're not? And you can't hide in some marriage, and you can't expect everything to be hunky dory and rose coloured.
Laying Blame was first performed at The Playroom in Cape Town in 1999, it has since been at the Grahamstown Festival, the Cape Town Festival, and JakArt Festival in Indonesia.
"ME":
Most of the world's mistakes aren't huge crashing mistakes, they're tiny little ones, that just add up. Like pulling out the last Jenga block and watching the tower crash onto the table in front of you and knowing that you fucked up. And you know what? While you're busy pulling other blocks out, and managing to balance them, miraculously, no one notices. No one cares. Things are going right, so what? But when you pull that last block out, when everything collapses, then everyone notices. Then everyone knows. And the persons who didn't pull out that particular block, who may have played an equal role in the destruction, they can sit by smugly and watch as you pick up the pieces and build your tower again.
New Monologues by Josh Weckesser
Friday, August 21, 2009
Josh Weckesser's monologues have long been a feature of the Database - and now, there are even more to choose from. New pieces have been added to the existing Thomas page. Two new monologues from Gray Matter have also been added - Seth's monologue about Paul's death, and Paul's post-mortem monologue. And, finally, the monologues you've all been waiting for - excerpts from Weckesser's Untitled Autobiography:
JOSH:
Eventually, I fell in love. I was the ripe old age of fifteen. She was the first girl that really ever talked to me. It was meant to be. I was young, I was stupid. How could I have known what love was at the age of fifteen? How can you ever know what love it? I mean seriously, if any Joe from middle Illinois could figure out all of the mysteries of love by the age of fifteen, why would poets write endless verses if it was so easy? It's an issue that every human being must tackle and this is how I went about tackling it. This, ladies and gentlemen is Shanell. Why is she made out of wood? It is a representation of how I remember her. Here we have Shanell, in all of her glory. What I can remember is what she looked like. This is who I fell in love with. It was rather pitiful. It went something like this: Shanell actually existed. Like I said, I was young, I was stupid and I 'liked' her. So, what I did was interpret everything she did and said as some sort of positive, in my favor, action. Therefore, I basically made up her personality, and fell in love with the personality. Life is a matter of perception. I even wrote poetry. Original poetry. But I'm not going to subject you to that. Did I really know her? No. Was I really in love with her? No. Does it really count? No. So we can move on!
TODD:
...I know what moves within young men's hearts: Confusion. Look at yourself for example. You know you liked her then, you're sure of that. But, thinking back, you can't understand why. You know what all of your friends said, and, looking back, you realize they were right. But, at the time, you thought they couldn't be more wrong. You know better now, but you didn't know better then. You were confused then, and you're confused now. I mean, it's not like I'm saying it's only young men. Young women, too. And old men and women. All people. All people are confused. It's just that when we get older we're more able to deal with it, able to put words to it, mask our confusion from the world, even from ourselves.
New Monologues by Nick Linnehan
Thursday, August 20, 2009
These Aren't My Shoes Productions is proud to announce that the Monologue Database will now feature monologues from two plays by Nick Linnehan: Identity and Erosion. Below are just two short excerpts. There are three monologues from Identity on the Mike page, and the Psychic's full monologue from Erosion is also available. Please enjoy these four new pieces.
MIKE:
I always knew I was different. Even when I was younger and Dad would take me to the softball games. When I got a little older, I caught myself staring more and more. You remember Carlton? God didn't he have the nicest...? I used to stare at him, wondering what it would be like to touch him. Then when I saw him kiss Dianne, I got this new feeling of jealousy, despair, and envy all rolled into one. I started to shy away from Dad and the guys on the team. But that only made me more lonely. So I decided that I would try to play JV Ball. I thought if I did what straight guys did, I would turn straight, right?
PSYCHIC:
You see, I always loved board games and my favorite was Monopoly. Well, one night I was playing right as I started getting clean. I realized getting high was a lot like Monopoly. The dice were my life. At first, each roll was fun, everything on the board was open, I had money for the bank. There was no problem... As I kept rolling and getting high, there was less money and people started building houses. Now with each roll, each hit was a struggle, but still manageable. I was getting by, getting good rolls, skirting around Boardwalk and Park Place. But slowly, each roll got harder, more expensive and more dangerous...
