By Josh Weckesser
Tim is the neurotic protagonist of a high school "basement" comedy. Today, Tim has agreed to act as though his basement is owned by Texas, so that he can't boss anyone around. All day, people keep showing up at his door, and Tim has to let them in - because it isn't his basement.
Here, Tim loses patience with one of his guests - the ridiculously clingy Beth, who still loves Jonas, her ex, despite his complete lack of interest. Beth has just called Tim "weird" ...which was probably a mistake...
TIM:
Weird? You think I'm weird? You come into my basement, which, by the way, is
owned by Texas today, and you start yelling at people because of the music that's
playing! What a weak will you must have, eh? But I suppose that's not weird, is
it? No, of course not. It's completely normal to just go along with the flow and
do whatever everyone else is doing and never taking the time to question what's
going on or where you're going. It's perfectly normal to be a sheep. Ah, but I
do know something about you, Beth, that's isn't so normal. Oh, that would hurt,
wouldn't it, if I could expose something about you that wasn't pristine and pure
and, heaven forbid, normal? That would be awful. But, sadly for you, I do.
Why did you come over here today, Beth? Oh, that's right, you came to see Jonas, whom you care about, right? Yes, you do. You care about him. That's too bad, because it's not "normal" to care about anyone these days, takes too much effort and individualistic thought. People want what they want now and they don't give a damn who they hurt or why they hurt them, that's what's normal, that's what not weird, right Beth? But you care about him anyway.
What is causing you to throw yourself onto that spear? You know he'll never want you, you know this! You're too intense for him. Jonas can't live in your world anymore than you can live in his, and yet, despite this, you still call to him, you still go to him. Do you enjoy the heartache? He'll be there only when he has nothing else to do, and is bored with himself. Run, Beth, run while you can. Only pain awaits you at the end of this road. But you know it and you're going to walk down the road to the end anyway, knowing it will only leave you empty and hurting. But you call me weird? Please.
[pause; TIM puffs out audibly] Whose turn is it? [long uncomfortable silence] What? [BETH takes in a sobbing breath] Oh, calm down Beth, I wasn't serious.
This monologue is from the one-act play It Came From Texas by Josh Weckesser. If you would like to read the entire play, you can purchase and download an electronic (PDF) copy of the script for $6.00.
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