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1999-2001
"I'll go wash off this dirty stick."
-- Zac
"We'll show you how to join a long tradition of students whose development in sex and beer has led to highly dead-end careers!"
-- Matt Martin"Well, ladies and gentlemen, our story is drawing to a close. For those of you who have no idea what just happened..."
"...Here's a hoe-down."
"Drive safe."
-- Danny & Kellie
"People hang out with me, look at the clock, and ask: What happened to my life?"
-- Chelsea
"Mmmmmmm.... chemical reaction!"
-- Zac"He's grouchy."
"I think that's because nobody likes him."
-- Chris & Danny
"That's so last semester!"
-- Danny T.
"If I had a Pippin... what would I feed him?"
-- Chris T.
"She's alive, let's have a hoedown!"
-- Chris T."I stabbed you and you didn't die! Let's have sex!"
-- Joe Coppola"I don't want to say, but... it rhymes with... blarajuana."
-- Chelsea"Where is the love?" (Kellie opens her mouth wide and makes gagging sounds.) "You swallowed the love?!?"
"Actually, I'm choking on it right now!"
-- Joe & Kellie"I'm fairly certain that American manhood is vague, internally contradictory and largely nonsensical."
-- Gabe"Hmm.... Poet or penis... I can't decide."
-- Kellie, taking an online quiz about what she really wants in a man.
Gatsby68: I'D RATHER DIE THAN HOOK UP WITH A GUY WHO WAS AGAINST FEMINISM!
"Hi... I'll have the Joe Coppola 8-inch special. Yeah, with a side of garlic bread... and a CREAM soda!"
-- Kellie, Chelsea, and Carolyn
Kapouwy: kellie... you know nothing of porn
staringinawe: Yup.
"And where am I supposed to meet this Bag of Wonderful, Chelsea? At Cheers?!?"
-- Kellie, when Chelsea told her not to give up on meeting an acceptable man."If you don't occasionally contemplate suicide, you're just not paying attention."
-- Prof. Dietrich
"You can walk around naked. You can have sex with whoever you want. If you can talk them into it, so be it!"
-- Prof. Dietrich
"George W. Bush is the embodiment of America: a flaming hypocrite."
-- Prof. Dietrich
"Descartes, like all good philosophers didn't do mornings."
-- Prof. Dietrich
"Even bad sex is great sex... sex is probably the best argument for God... but never mind that..."
-- Prof. Dietrich, Philosophy"The best predators are the ones that look harmless, and draw their prey to them."
-- Carolyn's Relationship Advice
"I'm your savior!"
"I've never been so glad to be Jewish."
-- Joe & Sharon
"I'm Sharon, I'm the President of HPC, and I do not have a dick."
-- Sharon
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