Call me KP
del.icio.us
last.fm
CURRENTLY
FEELING...
READING...
He's a Stud, She's a Slut,
and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know
by Jessica Valenti
[More]
WRITING...
Book Reviews
LISTENING...
The Blake Babies
[More]
WATCHING...
Freaks & Geeks
[More]
PLAYING...
Animal Crossing
SURFING...
Goodreads
CRAVING...
New Books!
Monday, June 30, 2003 @ 11:56 AM
Saaaddddy
Catholic Schoolgirls is over. =( It went really well and there was crisis but we pulled through. I had to be Julia. I hope Julia gets better soon. We made some money and I had a good time. The cast worked very hard and they did very well.
I have not slept in long time. I don't feel like myself. I joined ambitiondrives.us, strange because I am anything but driven right now. Right now, I feel strangely... lonely and trapped, deserted, abandonded, all kinds of adjectives that don't really describe me, just a misfiring synapse in my cranium.
Who needs sleep, mothafucka?
Friday, June 27, 2003 @ 1:20 PM
SHOW SHOW SHOW!
I have to go! I have things to do!
I am busy-Kellie!
I can't stop using explanation points!
It's OPENING NIGHT DAY!
Thursday, June 26, 2003 @ 11:45 PM
I Was Expecting the Worst, But...
I started to open a can of grape Fanta, and it fizzled. And I thought it was going to explode, so I ran towards the trash can and held it over, crining away from the imminent doom.
It fizzled a little, but... there was no spray of grape soda, there was no staining, or doom of any kind.
I just shrugged and said, "Well, that was rather anticlimactic."
That was my pretty much my evening.
Rehearsal went very well tonight, as far as the acting. Props to my cast! ...It was tech that was lacking, but thanks to Will Irvin, the spotlight will live again, and thanks to the combined efforts of Steven Michaels and myself, the lightboard will soon have CROSSFADING capabilities! Everyone who comes to see the show tomorrow night should be very pleased, or at the minimum, pleasantly surprised.
(See Announcements on the right.)
Good in Bed
First, I have to say: New Blogger is scary. I'm sorry, but Blogger got a make-over and even though that doesn't affect what you see when you read, it affects what I see when I write and I am scah-ed fah mah life. (I can hear Dan saying, "Don't be sc'erred," and it's funny for me, but probably not for any of you.)
Now, to explain the title. I have discovered the secret to managing my Tech Week Freak-Outs: distractions. There's a window of time during the evening hours when there's lots that needs to be done but nothing I am capable of doing. This results in a feeling of helplessness, that, because I have the coping skills of a blueberry scone, drives me to go completely off the deep end. But I borrowed a book, called Good in Bed, from my mother (which is not what it sounds like), and I've been reading it every night for the past two nights, until I can numb my brain into sleeping. So, yeah, I've found a way to stay calm, you can all put down your tranquillizer guns now. =)
...I am still desperate for cigarrettes, though. Every time I see someone else smoke, I have to bite my lip to keep from asking for one. Every time I walk into a gas station, I have to choke down a request for Camels. If it's this hard to stop smoking after only three and a half... I should probably cut all my smoker friends some slack.
Tuesday, June 24, 2003 @ 12:59 AM
Transitions
I had a strange weekend. I don't have the words. So we'll proceed to announcements:
Catholic Schoolgirls, Friday, June 27, Saturday, June 28, and Sunday, June 29, at 8pm, Fell Hall, room 148. For a map & directions, go here.
AUDITIONS for Three Days of Rain, June 30 & July 1, more info here.
Party - 4th of July, Wannabe-Bohemian Lair.
Friday, June 20, 2003 @ 2:41 PM
Reunions
Last night, Dan, Stephanie and I were visited by the Ghost of Former Jesus, Seth. He hung out for a while and then the three of us went to a party at Eva's. It wasn't too eventful, it was strange to see a bunch of people we went to school with but were never very close to. And it seemed like everyone had different hair. Some Twister was played and I bugged people to come to my show. (Catholic Schoolgirls, Friday, June 27, Saturday, June 28, and Sunday, June 29, at 8pm, Fell Hall, room 148. For a map & directions, go here.)
I really, really wish I could stop that. But I can't.
After we got home, Steph went to bed right away, but Dan and I stayed up ridiculously late with our dorky obssessions. I'm back into The Sims again, despite the fact that it keeps CRASHING every FIVE MINUTES! Dan is playing Jet Set round-the-clock now. I'm a little bitter because I've been playing off and on since Christmas and he's been playing for three days and he's already farther than me in the game.
"I'm a little slow in some stuff, mostly math and spatial relations, but certainly not challenged or anything..."
Meh. Neither of those skills has any practical value, anyway.
Right?
Thursday, June 19, 2003 @ 3:25 PM
Manifesto Post Script
I am not qualified to be anyone's savior. I cannot lead anyone who is not already headed the same direction I'm headed, and even if I could, I'm not sure I would want to. I'm not so much a savior as an evangelist. I am not so much an evangelist as a heretic. I am not so much a heretic as I am a hypocrite with a puppet master complex.
I am not qualified to be your savior. I don't want you to feel that you owe me anything. I don't want a protege, I'd rather have a friend.
Fun With Lyrics
Dan and I were driving to Jodie's last night, and listening to a new tape I'd made. A song comes on, and I start singing along with the chorus: She knows that side of me... Can't help that side of me...
"Why are we listening to a song about sodomy?"
I laugh and tell him he has a one-track mind. He insists it was a mistake anyone could make. I say... "Right... She knows that sodomy?"
"Yeah," he says, "She knows about it... and... it's bad."
"Right, right... Can't help that sodomy... All right, actually, that sounds like it could be real... like... Can't help that sodomy!"
"Sounds like a musical."
Maybe you had to be there. Or, you know, maybe you had to be us.
Tuesday, June 17, 2003 @ 3:27 PM
Burninating the Countryside!
When I got home last night, Dan and Steph told me to go look at the sidewalk in front of our apartment building.
Once there, I saw several small drawings in chalk, mostly of flowers and kitties, and: a detailed rendering of Trogdor, the Burninator!
Last summer was "The Summer of Phone Tag," named so because I couldn't reach anyone. This year is "The Summer of Trogdor," partly because Trogdor just keeps coming up in conversation, but also because my roommates and I are nineteen, we pay rent and electric bills. We work hard and drink like sailors. We use "fuck" in nearly every sentence we utter. And yet... Outside our building is a picture of Trogdor, drawn in sidewalk chalk.
Sunday, June 15, 2003 @ 9:45 PM
Church Schmurch
Last night, I went to the Baby Jade Benefit at Agape. I was a little bored for a while, because I was abandoned. Also, I have a hard time listening to bands if I'm not already familiar with their music. I realized why for the first time: All music sounds essentially the same to me. I know this sounds crazy, but it's true. I can distinguish between basic genres, but essentially, every song by every bad sounds the same when I'm hearing it for the first through fifth time. So when I hear live music, the only thing I can listen to is the lyrics. This is why I can enjoy acoustic, vocal-heavy bands (i.e. Running From Right) but not much else. Case in point, the first few times I saw Simple in Theory, I was kinda bored, but then KatieWhoDoesn'tMakePie burned me a CD. After I had been listening to the CD daily, I saw them live again, and had a great time.
Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah. Lyrics. All that matters to me is the lyrics. I know, I'm a freak. I also have mild anosmia and ears that stick out. I'm comfortable with that.
One strange thing I noticed was that there were a bunch of 2002 U-High grads, there to see Halogen Blue. I tried to be polite and everything, but realized I had nothing in common with them and nothing to say. I spent most of the night hanging out with people two to four years younger than me, which is always a strange experience. And speaking of strange experiences...
This morning I went to Epiphany Catholic church. I was going to go at nine and possibly catch Miriam, but the sleepless Friday night was catching up with me, so I slept until about eleven thirty and went to mass at noon. I was very twitchy the entire time. Church never used to scare me, but now it does. I can't really explain it, but it's almost as though I expect to be struck by lightning or hurled into a volcano or something. I haven't been to church since Troy's funeral, and before that, since I was attending Unitarian Youth Group with Megan the Red. So, why did I go to mass in the first place? Well, I'm directing this show called Catholic Schoolgirls, which performs in two weeks, you see, and I needed to do some research. I didn't pick up much in the way of useful information, and was paranoid for the rest of the day. Too much speaking in unison - without inflection, without emotion, just dozens of dissonant voices, rather like The Borg... Most scary was when the priest told everyone to greet their neighbors, and everyone shook my hand and said, "Peace be with you." To which I could only say, "Thanks. Uhhhh..." Sometimes, I wish I had Dan's skills at adapting to every situation. I'm starting to think I'm not so much a "people" person.
Father's Day snuck up on me this year. Probably because this time last year my father and I weren't speaking. We went out to dinner and he got to tell me that I'm on the quick track to Doomed and Homeless (because I'm a theatre major) and that he wishes I would "hurry up and get a boyfriend" (because he thinks I'm a lesbian). I'm sure this made his day, and it didn't hurt me. Much. (That which does not kill me makes me bitter.)
So, after church and dinner with my father for Father's Day, I had the sudden urge to, as they say in Go, "bathe in sin." Instead, I went home and played some Jet Set on the Xbox. Stephanie eventually came home from work, and is currently talking on her cell phone in our room. Another exciting night in Bohemia.
Friday, June 13, 2003 @ 9:53 PM
Delightfully Dull
I told Stephanie I was going to sleep in today, and I meant it. I slept until probably one in the afternoon. I took the day off work and just hung out all afternoon. Play practice went well and I got a lot of very interesting pictures of risque-looking nuns.
I just realized that enough people think Catholic Schoolgirls is a porno, and I'm just making things worse...
Steph was hoping for a party tonight, but Dan is doing a family thing and it seems everyone I know has an early morning tomorrow.
My roommates are always complaining that there's nothing to do. I see where they're coming from, but I still think they're on crack. I'm way too stressed out to be bored. The show's in two weeks, and I've still got a lot to figure out and even more to do. (It doesn't help that my computer doesn't have Microsoft Word on it. Argh.) I have complete confidence, and I know everything's going to fall into place, but my adrenaline is still pumping like crazy. My whole body knows it - it's crunch time.
Thursday, June 12, 2003 @ 1:48 PM
Psych!
I took my psychology final today, which means the class is OVER.
It has taught me one thing I can be sure of: I cannot be allowed to breed.
There's other miscellaneous things going on, like my show, and the extreme, inescapable poverty. I'm still serving time at the House of Minimum Wage and Pain. I can't figure out why factor-five won't work, there's no logical reason for it, we're just getting ripped off. I don't really know what to do about it. At least the TAMSP site works. When I launch Version 7, it will be at notmyshoes.net/nb/.
I'm listening to Launch, I need to write, I need to talk, I'm lost in thought, I'm killing time, I'm tired but, hey, I'm smiling.
Tuesday, June 10, 2003 @ 3:40 PM
Worship/Bread
Megan Dougherty is the matron saint of starving wanna-be Bohemians.
I'd tell you why, but then I'd have to kill you. =)
Even Glaciers Move
(a response to Donnelle, responding to me.)
Yes. Things happen in the world. Every day. Things happen in your life, too. Big things. They happen.
But is that your life?
Is your life the milestones, the emergencies? Are you the person you are in extreme circumstances? Are you the things you say and do and think and feel when the plane loses cabin pressure?
Or is your life in the details?
I think you are the person you are everyday.
I think what matters is the love you give along the way.
And I know I come across as a pessimist a lot, I come across as depressed. Part of that is a chemical imbalance, a genetic predisposition to neuroticism, emotionality, and a pessimistic explanatory style. And part of that is because talking about feeling bad is what allows me to feel good. That's why I have three online journals. That's why I'm a writer.
I have to let out the sadness before I can let in the joy.
It's not dwelling, it's dealing.
Monday, June 09, 2003 @ 2:12 PM
Dangling
None of the nights since we've moved in have been particularly easy, and it's getting harder to identify which nights are particularly hard. With every passing evening, it seems less and less like we are friends who happen to live together, and more and more like we are family members who happen to be friends.
I know I'm only nineteen, but I sure feel like these are my early twenties.
Erin left last night, but she'll be back for Catholic Schoolgirls. We basically spent the entire weekend recovering from Friday night. An Evening with Kevin Smith is about six hours long, but it's fucking hysterical.
I wrote something last night, a sprawling piece of prose without a plot, because to be honest, I suck at structure.
Today I was forty minutes late to psych class, and found out I got a 'B' on last Thursday's test. I still haven't heard from Lauren and I'm really, really worried about her. I'm not angry, I just hope she's all right. If she's not at rehearsal tonight, I will consider drastic measures.
Sunday, June 08, 2003 @ 7:58 PM
"That was great. Now let's never do it again."
When I woke up Saturday afternoon, all I could remember was being attacked by a ferret named Marley.
Eventually, the rest of the evening came back to me in bits and pieces. Not in anything resembling sequential order. A brief and very censored account:
Drinking jungle juice, orange vodka, rum, hard lemonade, and Bicardi silver. Smoking a pipe with Stephanie and a guy named Hola. The first, second, and third cigarrettes of my life (and probably the last). Going outside and screaming, and throwing a Bicardi bottle, just to hear the glass break. Faith telling me that she considered me a friend, then telling me not to be too "complemated" because she didn't have many friends. Steve kicking Josh in the nuts. (He was drunk, he thought it would help.) Cutting my toe open in three places when I rammed it into a cement parking block. David Foster trying to convince Josh not to leave. People hooking up. Summer passing out in her car, locking herself in so we couldn't check on her. Everyone being unsure of whether or not she was breathing. Seeing a pint-size friend of mine (who I had always considered innocent) do shots. Repeatedly offering Megan the Red popsicles. One of my friends from high school throwing up in the bathroom for hours, crying and screaming and thinking she was going to die. Moaning for her boyfriend. Someone deciding to call the paramedics, Dan sending everyone to Stephanie's friend Andrew's apartment to hide out until the coast was clear.
Which is where I was attacked by a ferret.
Or, you know, approached by a ferret... I was out of it enough that I couldn't tell the difference.
The next morning, I played the voice message Dan had left for me. "Kellie Powell. It's nearly four. We're not calling the paramedics afterall, it's safe to come home now."
I feel like I've aged three years. I went from seventeen to twenty in a little less than twelve hours.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to church.
Friday, June 06, 2003 @ 1:23 PM
Unreliable
The 'blog only publishes about half the time. The site only shows up about half the time.
I hate WorldWebHosters.com, and I also hate Blogger.
::shakes fist::
Meanwhile, in Jerusalem... Stephanie was mixing drinks this morning for tonight's party. I decided I would have about a spoonful, just to taste it. DEAR GOD! It was so good and I wanted to get drunk right then and there. Unfortunately, I have to work. I have to earn money so that we can continue to buy the ingredients for future mixed drinks.
This is what's called delay of gratification.
Thursday, June 05, 2003 @ 4:43 PM
Closing Time
Lately, I've been the last one to leave the office where I work. Technically, students are to leave when the last adult worker leaves.
For a while, no one noticed, but I guess there was somewhat of an uproar yesterday.
They can't show me preferential treatment just because I'm Beckie's daughter, you know.
::sarcastic laughter::
Wednesday, June 04, 2003 @ 7:06 PM
CD Sale
I am selling my CD's because I'm in poverty. These are the CD's that remain. Thanks to Red and Josh, for buying some CD's from me already. To find out what each CD has on it, go to amazon.com and search for it. There'll be a list of tracks. Oh... and try not to judge my music tastes by this list. These are the ones I'm willing to part with, after all. Also, many of these are CD's were not purchased by me. The prices reflect their condition and also how good I consider them to be.
Dashboard Confessional - The Drowning EP - $4. The Broadway Cast Recording - Guys & Dolls - $3. Barenaked Ladies - Rock Spectacle - $4. Blink 182 - Take Off Your Pants & Jacket - $5. Original Broadway Cast - The Secret Garden - $3. The "Friends" Soundtrack - $4. Motion Picture Soundtrack - The Breakfast Club - $3. Eve 6 - Self-Titled - $5. Green Day - Nimrod - $5. Motion Picture Soundtrack - Reality Bites - $5. Motion Picture Soundtrack - Ten Things I Hate About You - $4. Meredith Brooks - Blurring the Edges - $5. Tori Amos - Boys for Pele - $4. Presidents of the U.S.A. - Pure Frosting - $5. Motion Picture Soundtrack - Lost Highway - $5. Everclear - So Much For the Afterglow - $4. Three Doors Down - The Better Life - $5. Sheryl Crow - Tuesday Night Music Club (missing case) - $4. The Verve Pipe - Villians (missing case) - $4. Motion Picture Soundtrack - Batman Forever (missing case) - $2. Motion Picture Soundtrack - Batman and Robin (missing case) - $2.
Sales Pitch
This Friday Night, join us for an evening of drinking to excess.
Featuring: Fuzion Frenzy, Euchre, and the mad bartending skillz of one Ms. Krimmer.
Around 9pm, at the Bohemian Commune that Steph, Dan, and I call home. Call for directions.
All the cool kids are doing it.
Tuesday, June 03, 2003 @ 5:04 PM
Road Trip?
I want to visit Surprise, Arizona.
Just because.
...That Wouldn't End
Donnelle's girl-detective name is Brassy LeFierce, and mine is Blue Halo.
Late Sunday night, Josh and Bret came over with a lot of chickleberry juice and other supplies, and a good time was had by all, except for by those who were trying to sleep but couldn't because of the noise (note the lingering guilt). We were also joined by Nicole, who seems a lot more talkative and a lot less hostile when intoxicated. I had class at 10:30 the next morning, half of which I attended, half-awake. I returned to find Stephanie cooking Josh breakfast. He bought five of my CD's. Soon I'll post the list of what's left so you can all be enticed to buy my CD's and I can buy myself some canned spaghetti (yum!).
In the afternoon, Dan realized there were foreign keys on our coffeetable. Josh told us they were Bret's, and gave me his phone number. When I called, to inform him we had his keys, he answered the phone with, "You have my keys, devil woman!" I laughed and briefly considered allowing this phrase to replace "Hello?" as my standard greeting.
I stayed home last night while my roommate/siblings were at work and cleaned a lot. Around 10, we were visited by David Foster, Annie Creswell, and Jessica Rubenacker. We taught David & Jessica to play Kings in the Corner while watching music videos on a tape Dan got from Gadzook's. Steph fell asleep on the couch and I went to bed incredibly early (for me), leaving Dan to entertain our guests. I survived the entirety of my psych class this morning, and am currently semi-awake at work, processing disconnected phone numbers (AGAIN!).
I want to take it easy this week. Class, work, rehearsals. Lunch with Seth, if he's agreeable, maybe cards with Slick and Jodie. Visits from U-High kids and grads, tours of the apartment. Just easy. I want to get sleep this week, between now and Serious Drinking Only Night, which will be held this Friday, and everyone is invited, but should be warned that it will contain mature content (illicit substances, scary mannequins, strong language, et cetera).
Today, I was walking through the quad when I had a strange thought, the latest in a series of realizations dealing with perspective: Living in an incestuous fish bowl just means that everyone you know is part of your family.
And this song will not leave my head. Read it, it has a freakish similarity to things I've been feeling lately.
Sunday, June 01, 2003 @ 6:53 PM
Rhymes With "Blinvisible..."
Donnelle is visiting us for the weekend and it makes me so happy for the rest of my life! And we have the Internet now, which is exciting. Wednesday night, Steph dyed my hair (blue-black again), and last night, she cut R.J.'s hair, and today she gave Donnelle and Dan some red highlights. I think she needs to start charging for her hair styling services.
Currently, there are five people in my living room, including me, and all the people who are not me are speculating as to the origin of the verb to josh (which means to kid or to joke).
I'm fine, except I think I'm transparent and dying from syphillis (the fake kind).
Its a brand new season and we all know that seasons always call for new wardrobes and apparels. So if you are looking for designer womens shoes such as top of the line steve madden shoes then you should visit Solestruck for the best selections. Solestruck is known for it's great quality shoe products and low prices on womens shoes. SoleStruck.com!
archives / / blogger
Content & Design (c) 2000-2008 KP
LINKS
moonshine
no escape
no cars
erin
feministing
feminism 101
safer
sea monsters
penny arcade
ctrl+alt+del
xkcd
achewood
mac hall
softer world
5ives.com
overheard
pa notes
FUNDRAISING
AcaDemon
My Essays
Alibris
Shutterfly
Blue Dolphin
Overstock
Apple iTunes
