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Thursday, May 30, 2002 @ 2:38 PM
Writing from work, which is dangerous.
Today Marzieh and I stuffed over 500 envelopes. Go us!
Marzieh seems really cool, though I can't really tell, since she speaks in what I'm going to call Very Broken English.
I finished today's surveys, and I'm debating right now about whether or not I should pretend to work for another 20 minutes until my shift ends, or if I should just go turn these in and head over to Rob's for practice.
I'm also debating about whether or not I want to direct anything else this summer.
Wednesday, May 29, 2002 @ 8:47 PM
And another quiz by me...
Which Stick & Co. Production Are You Living In?
Tuesday, May 28, 2002 @ 10:54 PM
Oh, look, I made another quiz!
Which Kind of Relationship is Right For You?
My life is so awesome sometimes...
Yesterday? I watched Law & Order for several hours, because A&E was having a Memorial Day Marathon. I had play practice, (which admittedly was not awesome, because Jessica was missing, but I found out later she was still out of town at a wedding. Not really her fault.) watched my favorite show, and goofed around on the Internet until all hours of the night.
Today? I woke up and began to play online, then I got a call from my mother. "The database is down right now, so don't come into work until you get a call that it's back up." Oh? I don't have to work? That's too bad...
I calculated that I'm only going to make about $70/week, but that's just fine, because I don't value money as much as I value my free time. Which is probably a dangerous attitude to have when you're not in high school anymore, but... I'm sticking with it for the time being.
Monday, May 27, 2002 @ 6:30 PM
Conversation with the Dreaded Ex...
PhallusMcHenry: Is Stick & Co. doing anything this summer? kellie rai: Yes, but most plans are up in the air right now. PhallusMcHenry: Stick no come back? kellie rai: He's back, but he's not directing anything. PhallusMcHenry: I see. And you don't know what you're going to do? kellie rai: Well, I have a show going on right now. After that, David Robinson is directing It Came From Texas. But after that, I don't know. PhallusMcHenry: David Robinson was the cute one, right? kellie rai: ... Yeah...
Ha... Now I have proof...
71% I am 71% worshipable!
How worship-able are you?
Wouldn't it be great if all there was after high school was graduation parties? Yes, they can be kind of boring and small, but they're so easy. Just show up, say hi, eat people's food, talk, gossip, toast marshmallows... Easy.
Two of my very favorite people - Megan and Steve - are out of town right now. I had practice today, and I have work and practice tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after... I'm getting into a nice routine... A nice, relaxing routine that allows plenty of time for watching movies, hanging out with friends, and playing around on the net. Now if only I could get my brother to drop dead or move to Portugal...
Steve's Latest Dementia (posted by me, on his behalf, while he's away on vacation): (Pointing at Becca) "Sexual Harassment... (Pointing at Megan) Panda!"
Saturday, May 25, 2002 @ 10:26 PM
Last night was the lowest I've been in a real long time. When everyone goes home, and it's just you and the flashing lights, it's hard not to want to die.
This morning, everything is fine again.
I learn to be happy with the little things. The way that people hug and screech, even when they saw each other the night before. The way people consistently surprise you with the talents they kept hidden. The way Seth Gordon will never advance past the age of twelve as far as flirting goes. (He still steps on toes, pokes people in the sides... And he's 19.) The way it feels to love someone and not want anything of them - you just want them to be happy, and that's completely enough.
I think that's the only way to really love someone.
The Word of the Day for May 25 is:
epitome \ih-PIH-tuh-mee\ (noun) 1 a : a summary of a written work b : a brief presentation or statement of something *2 : a typical or ideal example : embodiment
It's three in the morning, and somehow, that says it all.
Friday, May 24, 2002 @ 1:53 PM
I have just joined the hundreds of high school graduates who have no idea what they're going to do with their lives.
But don't tell anyone. It's a secret.
...And I continue to be plagued by my sinuses, if anyone wondered.
Dan just called. It seems that I missed the graduation rehearsal this morning... Hehe. I thought it was at 6:00... He'll be dropping off my cap and gown in a little bit.
Tonight I graduate high school. There should be a lot of extended family and lots of friends in attendance. Billiards at BBC afterwards, in keeping with the long-standing tradition. One more time, with feeling, people. =)
Happy birthday to Steve, who's special day is over-shadowed by the UHS Graduation. We *heart* you, Steve! Lobe Steve!
And hug Cori and Justin today, it's their anniversary sort of/pretty much/I think Actually, don't hug Justin, he doesn't like when people touch him. I think you can punch him in the shoulder or shake his hand, or something.
Yup. High school = over.
My sentiments? Finally!
Wednesday, May 22, 2002 @ 11:52 AM
Either my allergies are really acting up, or I am getting sick. But sinus pressure cannot bring me down, I have baby carrots!
My supervisors are on lunch break... thus I can't get any instructions. Thus I am also on break.
My job is pretty... boring... all I do is make changes to the alumni database, all day long. But it is kind of interesting, just because I imagine the human side of the data. Like it says so-and-so got married, changed her name, moved to Texas, and completely changed her career path, and I try to imagine why, and what it felt like...
Yay carrots! They're crispy and orange and... practically tasteless!
Tuesday, May 21, 2002 @ 8:41 PM
First day of work. Two really funny things I learned while data-entering:
1.) There's a place called Manatee County somewhere in Florida. 2.) Some strange woman has the e-mail address: pavelickme@yahoo.com
Oooh! Oooh! And I made a Quiz! What's Your Card Game?
Yay to Steve for fixing the Internet at Kellie's house.
Damn the scummy monkey who stole my Sims!
...And I am "sad at" Mike, who we have cancelled three rehearsals and a publicity stunt for/because of...
Webcomics are fun. As are quizzes - I updated this page today with a few new ones.
That's about all.
Monday, May 20, 2002 @ 8:30 PM
Okay, seriously. Did someone borrow my Sims: Vacation CD? Because I have looked everywhere. I cleaned my room for three hours. Then I cleaned the basement. Then I cleaned the rest of the house. I will seriously give anyone who finds or returns my Sims Vacation CD their choice between $5 or my eternal love.
There's nothing on Monday nights. I'm catching up on Boy Meets Boy.
Rob's journal is up. He ceded the monopoly game and actually sounded rather angry at me about the whole event...
Don't think we're having rehearsal, as it seems that Mike will not be able to make it.
I swear I'll leave as soon as I talk to Mike, Rob, and Renata. I really should not be here.
I still do not know the results of Saturday night's marathon Monopoly game... It was thrilling though, really. Thrilling. =)
Today I set the schedule for my new job doing data entry at my mom's office. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, 10-3. I start tomorrow.
I also had an eye doctor's appointment... I never knew it was possible for one's eyes to actually feel sticky... but apparently so...
I'm at U-High now, I had lots of computer stuff to do (and resources to abuse) and I wanted to check in with all my crew-heads. (I lobe you!) There'll be rehearsal at 3:30 today at Rob's, I do believe. And a massive publicity stunt tomorrow. Massive Awesomeness.
Oh, and a new poll: Which delusion would you rather have: A.) That you're a butterfly or B.) That you are the one and only God? Personally, I would rather be a butterfly. There would be so much less pressure... =)
Saturday, May 18, 2002 @ 5:54 PM
The Internet is not working at Kellie's house, so she is forced to drive to ISU to utilize their free internet stations.
Class Night sucked, but on the plus side, we got Mrs. T. good. If you happened to miss it, it went a little something like deez:
"We, the talented senior Thespians, being of creative minds - and deaf ears, after four years of senseless screeching and ranting - do hereby will and bequeath to the Bipolar Basketcase in the English Office: A collection of various mood-stabilizing pharmaceuticals. Pick one, and please, stick with it."
Harsh? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely.
Then there was the getting hit with milk, which was less fun, and then the crying and hugging, which just felt hollow. It was nice to feel appreciated, but... honestly, people, I'm not going anywhere. And those of you who I want to keep in touch with, I will. Graduation and college aren't the end of friendships, they're the first test of them. Who is really worth keeping in touch with? I'm about to find out.
Speaking of college people who don't keep in touch, Josh dropped by my house last night. We caught up, talked about S&C a little, but mostly random things. He broke up with the girlfriend. Our conversation:
"So... how'd she take it?" "...Okay..." "So... is she going to be making your life a living Hell this summer?" "Probably."
I tried, multiple times, to tell him how annoyed I've been with him lately. How I started to think I would never see him again, because he's always blowing me off. How he makes me feel like I'm not worth his time. How upsetting it is to be in a one-sided friendship. A couple times he said he was sorry, but, what can I say? Apologies are empty when you don't trust the person who gives them to you. And yet... When it was time for him to leave, I didn't want him to go.
It's strange the way I ask so little, get less, and... just start asking even less. And yet, I think that's probably for the best. The lower my expectations are, the harder it is for him, or anyone, to let me down. Why do I think that I need people who I can count on? I can count on myself. That should be enough. I don't need other people to tell me who I am, or that I'm worthwhile and wonderful. I know these things already. ;)
Josh is always the Story Teller in our conversations. He is the performer, and for the most part, I am the audience. He steers the conversation in the direction he wants, he talks about anything, but when I try to "take over," and tell my own stories, he makes me feel foolish, he makes me feel... young. Not in a good way. This is one of the many reasons I haven't wanted to date Josh since I was a sophomore. I came to the realization that he would manipulate our relationship, he would manipulate me. Of course, it's been quite a while since I wanted a relationship-relationship with anyone. At the moment, I'm a big believer in friends-with-benefits. And as long as I'm in a sharing, exhibitionist kind of mood, the entire time we were talking in my kitchen, I did want to make out with Josh. But I think it was mostly out of the desire to fucking shut him up. Probably far more information than you needed, but, hey, this is my journal you're reading. What did you expect?
Then today, I got a ride with Steve to downtown Bloomington to see Dry Ice Factory and Outlier play. (Isn't Nick Timme hot? Damn. *Kellie sinks into momentary near-pedophilia.*) It was fun, entertaining. I like music a lot, but something I've noticed is that I like songs exclusively for their lyrics, and I tend to not enjoy music when I can't hear the words. I will listen to music with indiscernible words, but only when I'm also doing something else at the same time. Music-based music is good background noise while talking to people at a party, or while driving, but I can't just sit still and listen to anything without words. Hence the spacing out and people-watching during today's concert.
Well, I've got about a billion things that I could/should be doing today. Tonight there will either be rehearsal or a party at Steve's house, or both. Tomorrow I'm going to a flea market with my father (have I mentioned that we can only spend time together while bargain-hunting these days?). Wish me luck. Oh, and my graduation presents from my mother and father are going to be a backpack and video camera, and a new computer, respectively. The monitor I'll be getting is, in my father's words, "shitty," so I'll probably be hunting for a cheap-but-better one, if anyone has any leads, let me know. As for the video camera, if anyone (I'm looking at PJZ here) has any reccommendations, please, post them.
Today's was an incredibly long entry. Lots to respond to. *Stares menacingly at visitor.* Post! This means you!
Wednesday, May 15, 2002 @ 9:12 AM
I'm starting to feel the glow of a graduating senior.
Or... it could be the glow of a girl who's wearing a skirt.
Whichever. It feels nice. Kinda fuzzy.
Tuesday, May 14, 2002 @ 2:30 PM
Clesson wants me to re-do my Works Cited page on my research papers because I'm getting an 89 in AP Lang. I told her it doesn't matter. I'm probably going to sign off on my F in pre-calc just to avoid taking the final because I don't care and it doesn't matter. ISU will still accept me, and it's not like I was in the running for any prizes or anything. It doesn't matter. But she says, "Do it for me."
Why am I a pushover? Why?
I don't want a guarantee that anyone will remember me I don't want to leave footsteps for anyone to follow I don't want to write a song for a place where I never did belong I look around me and everything only seems hollow
My last full day of high school. Ever.
(Even if I don't pass pre-calc, today is still my last full day.)
Last night was my last high school chorus concert. Ever.
I feel like... I should feel more.
Monday, May 13, 2002 @ 9:26 AM
THE STORY
My brother and I were driving back from Decatur. We had been at a boring family reunion and my brother had told his girlfriend that he would be home to call her at 7:00, but my dad didn't let us leave until almost 6:30. Pissed off, my brother was driving 90 mph back to Normal, and he told me, "Watch out for cops."
"Will... Never mind, that's an SUV... Oh, wait! It's a cop! It's a cop SUV!" "Oh, shit! ...It's turning around. *String of expletives.*"
He took the next available right onto a goat trail country road, and drove 80 mph, taking every turn he could find. He lost control of the car at the top of a hill and I thought we were going to die. Once I stopped screaming, we looked back and didn't see the cop. We rejoiced.
Then we saw flashing lights.
My brother stopped the car, and emitted another string of expletives. The cop approached his window.
"Nice try, son. Do you always try to run away from the police?" "...No, sir." "Let's see your license and registration." "I don't have it..."
My brother has a $75.00 ticket and a court date in DeWitt County.
Friday, May 10, 2002 @ 9:13 AM
My response to Thompson's pop quiz:
"Binonmial. From the Latin "bi," meaning "two" and "nomial" meaning "gnome."
I wasn't here yesterday to get the assignment because I was taking the AP Language exam.
I'm directing a play right now about a gnome. His name is Gene. He lives in a closet."
Thursday, May 09, 2002 @ 2:27 PM
If I made a complicated interactive community type of game on my website, would you play it?
And would you rather... A.) Tell a Story or B.) Go on a Quest? Would you rather have... A.) Money or B.) Followers?
And one more, completely unrelated, question: Would you rather A.) have living eyebrows that could crawl all over your face, or B.) leave a trail of paprika wherever you went?
Excerpt from one of my responses on the AP Lang exam this morning:
I once saw a play in which a character said, “You know what an incestuous little fishbowl this place can be.” As my time in high school draws to a close, this phrase repeats itself in my mind. The ridiculous gossip, the trivial conflicts, and the suffocating familiarity of adolescence could not be more accurately described than by the single word “fishbowl.” Perhaps the greatest lesson I learned in high school is that privacy is just a word. The walls have ears, and the “curtain” Kundera speaks of is now made of non- biodegradable cellophane: It exists, but hides nothing.
Contemporary human beings have the same choices that a high school student has. We may choose to pretend our “curtain” can hide us, and go on creating separate “public” and “private” personas. Or we may choose to strive to become our public selves: we may try to be the person who has nothing to hide. Or, rejoicing in the knowledge that the man with no secrets can never be blackmailed, we may choose to abandon our public selves and give the other fish something to gossip about as they float past the little plastic castle, gurgling contentedly and shrieking, “Oh, my God! Can you believe it?!?”
Wednesday, May 08, 2002 @ 7:25 PM
Need freaking sleep.
But all George can see is maybe a tree...
Don't ask.
The site is up! Yay! You can start making a list of all the mistakes you find, and sometime over the weekend, I will try to fix them. I already know about some, such as the fact that bottles is "Coming Soon," the quotes don't show up (they will, they will, all in good time... until then, they can be found in the right-hand column of this page), and the drop-down menus on this page don't work... Steve, I'm looking at you here? Wanna hit View Source and let me know what I've screwed up? Thank you, Steve, you're my tech God, I lobe you!
I lobe you all, really. I'm just cranky because I have the AP Lang exam tomorrow at 7:30 a.m. (7:30 a.m. in the morning!) and I'm failing pre-calc. And because I haven't been able to sleep any night this week. It's kind of an emotional time for me right now... With the leaving and the not knowing what I'm going to do with my life and the lack of certainty all over the place...
Tuesday, May 07, 2002 @ 12:44 PM
Chorus Memories: My responses to a form from Mrs. Corpus.
- On the New York City trip freshman year, we were serenaded by a would-be actor-musician named Jorge. One of the songs was "Get up and shake your napkin!"
- On the same trip, sitting at the Chinese restaurant, Rob Turner taught our table the "in bed" game that I still play with fortunes.
- When I asked Mrs. Corpus why the Chorus II kids always looked so sad and dejected as they were leaving, she told me she beat them with a whip.
- J McCullough as Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street in the 1999 senior medley. He wanted to wear a bloody apron, but Mrs. Corpus said no.
- In rehearsals we yelled out "Lacrymosa!" and Mrs. Corpus begged us not to do it at the concert.
- All the bugs people have killed over the years.
- Fanny the French student, laughing at us while we sang "J'en tende le moulin."
- Saying "Que parte tu don ton jupon?" ("What do you have in your apron?") and having people think I was propositioning them.
- Rap versions of "Tambur" and "Placido."
- Stephanie talking in her sleep in Boston and asking me if I was wearing Elvis pants. When I said, "WHAT?" she said, "I mean, do you have shoes on?"
Monday, May 06, 2002 @ 9:31 PM
Whatever you do, don't post comments... They don't work with our new domain. Which means we're all going to have to switch to YACCS or BlogBack or something.
And by "we're all" I mean me, Megan, and Rob.
Hey, brilliant discovery by Steve:
Our addresses aren't http://www.factor-five.com/username, like we thought.
They're http://factor-five.com/~username
Believe me, I'm not thrilled.
You know what does make me happy though? I am this close to being done with my website.
And then I can do my final project for Clesson and the Power Point for Senior Chorus night.
One could argue that I could do those things right now, instead of working on my website. But one would be failing to see the beauty of Kellie's Priorities.
Friday, May 03, 2002 @ 9:49 AM
Exciting, exciting things... I am just so sleepy! I could literally sleep on the floor right now.
Only... 7.5 days of school left!
Thursday, May 02, 2002 @ 12:55 PM
I've already started configuring our domain! I feel like such a dork because I'm so excited about everything. For instance, the WebMail program we'll be using is called SquirrelMail! Squirrels! Yay!
So many exciting things are beginning now and soon! Factor Five, NB6, The Author's Voice, and SUMMER!
Only... 8 days of high school left!
Wednesday, May 01, 2002 @ 7:43 PM
Nine days of high school left. Thank God.
The Elements have registered factor-five.net, and ordered hosting... we're just waiting for the order to be processed...
So... yeah, I'm working on Version 6.0 of Never Better, so let me know if you have any neat-o suggestions. =)
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