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Monday, July 31, 2000 @ 7:17 PM
I've been working to improve this blog's template. New image, and new links along the right-hand side. Then I'm going to be writing some love poems. And they are going to be cheesy. And I am going to type them up and publish them anyway, even though I really hate cheesiness. Oh, and look! I scanned my new toe socks! Unfortunately, the neon colors got very...um..."paled" by my scanner...but...still... yeah. anyways.
d00d, you gotta dig this. It's (drumroll, please) The Movie Sounds Page.
I mean nothing to you and I don't know why. -"Everything You Want" (Vertical Horizon)
Check out my Amazon.Com Wish List. (I hope that link works...)
Today's agenda: 1.) Mope. 2.) Explore blogs & personal sites. 3.) Bug my mother to take me to town. 4.) Maybe work on "Bright Shining Stars," the fictionalized account I'm writing of what happened the night of U-High Graduation 5.) Rant. 6.) Maybe work on putting together a writing portfolio. 7.) Bug my mother to take me to town. 8.) Chat with people on AIM. 9.) Rant some more. 10.) Sleep a lot.
That will pretty much be my agenda for the week. Now that Stick & Co. theatre is done for the summer, the plan is to veg out and try to get a grip on everything.
All the promises we made from the Cradle to the grave When all I want is you. -Reality Bites Soundtrack
I am listening to the Reality Bites soundtrack and feeling kinda blue. It might be the music, and it might be Something Else. I'm not really sure.
My cast was really sweet, they bought me neon toe socks!!! And a little book to write the quotes in so I don't forget them. =) Strike was really fun, and then we went to Josh's and ate pizza and played Monopoly. It was a Good Time, really... So I wish I could shake this sad little bug eating me alive from the inside.
Snow Falling on Cedars was over-rated, and Jawbreaker was lame and weird. I also watched Undressed on MTV. Big mistake, it is the cheesiest shit ever.
Sunday, July 30, 2000 @ 1:16 AM
I had a great night.
You will never know my sin... (Angels Would Fall / Melissa Etheridge)
"Stop blowing me!" -Justin
The shows were good again tonight. The Irvins brought their children to see my show, but left before Within the Shadows, I guess because Josh and Emily get naked and discuss Mature Topics, like Homosexuality and Suicide. Or maybe they had Good Reasons. I really don't know.
"Yeah, but that wasn't sexual..." -Cori
I found out today that Brett Presson is a substitute Petrucio for Taming of the Shrew. We eavesdropped on the Sun/Moon scene, and Logan got really confused, and it was funny...
"What attracts you to Kellie?" "Her hair." -Eva and Logan
Damn...Tonight's cast party at Justin's was fun...Emily Baldoni yelled many insults across the yard to Steve.
"Hey Steve! Your breasts are bigger than mine!!!" -Emily Baldoni
Also, they stole Josh's belt, wallet, and shoes, and basically beat him down. (This is what happens when you have more Single Women than Single Men at parties.) We tickled and tortured him. It was a Good Time.
Another funny thing was that Justin almost got lost on the way to his own house, and proceeded to go crazy and lost his ability to have an interior monologue. Also, Dan and Eric poured six-month old water from a laundry basket onto Logan and I (mostly me). This wasn't funny, but it was funny when I chased Dan around the yard and then after Eric and Dan left, I claimed that I had killed them.
Really, this has been a great night.
Saturday, July 29, 2000 @ 2:45 PM
Last night's show went all right. We had some major technical difficulties. (Sooner or later there will be scanned pictures to illustrate this.) Another show tonight at seven. I really don't know whether to expect a nice big audience or not. I hope that my little brother doesn't come, because if he does, he will see that I borrowed two of his shirts without asking. heh.
Justin's parents were very kind to me. They both told me that when Eva talked, she sounded like me, which was kind of a kick in the self-conscious. I'm not exactly sure how to take that...am I as whiny and repetitive as the character I created? Is that how they see me, as the witness of my life? I'll stop talking about this now, because I am really confusing all the people who haven't read or seen Close Second.
I'm not nearly as nervous as I was yesterday. I guess because I know that no matter what happens, my cast will still get the same applause, and I will still get the same "Congratulations." Within the Shadows went well too, I started to cry early, again. I was in "the light booth" and Kat was in "the sound booth" and we were both afraid that the audience would hear us bawling, but apparently they didn't. so.
Yeah, anyways...
Thursday, July 27, 2000 @ 2:25 AM
Not enough time to really talk. Donovan sent me another letter, it is Letter 6 in the Series. If you want to know happened tonight, read Letter 7, my reply.
Tomorrow is the last rehearsal before The Real Thing. Oh, my Godf, such stress & scary-ness!!!
Wednesday, July 26, 2000 @ 2:20 AM
Stayed last night at Cori's, after seeing What Lies Beneath which really sucked. I was upset that I paid $6 to see something so lame. It didn't get over until midnight, so we were driving around after curfew again. Cori and I didn't get to bed until 2 am, and then we slept twelve hours. Or rather, I did. She says she was often awake, and she also said she heard me crying in my sleep. I don't remember that.
I did cry last night, once during Within the Shadows, Emily & Josh's play. (Well, they didn't write it, they just borrowed it.) OMG, it is such an amazing script!!! The other two times were both because of A Certain Person, who managed to make me cry with minimal effort. (He later thanked me.) What can I say? It doesn't take much to make me cry. Once, when I had bronchitis and was home alone and exhausted, I cried over a Got Milk commercial. You remember the one? The Trix Rabbit finally got some Trix, but didn't have any milk. I was just, like, "All he wants is some f'n cereal, why can't you give the poor rabbit a break for once?"
Yeah, I know. I'm weird.
Another weird thing: My mother told me when I called from Cori's that Justin Mayo had called me, and said to call him back no matter what time it was. When I dialed his number, someone picked up the phone, and I assumed it was Justin. This was the conversation.
"Hi." "Hello." "What's up?" "Not much." "You said to call no matter what time it was." "Well, what's wrong?" "Nothing...I didn't know how serious you were about that." "That's all right..." "So...what's up?" "Not much." "Well...then, why'd you call?" "I didn't." "I got a message that you called." "I didn't call you." (Kellie thinks this is majorly weird.) "Justin?" "That would explain it. I'll get him." "Oh my God! I'm sorry!" "You sound exactly like my friend!" "Well, you sound exactly like Justin Mayo!"
When I talked to The Real Justin Mayo (will the real Justin Mayo please stand up? please stand up? please stand up?) he didn't have that much to say, just that he would be sending me a rehearsal schedule for The Good Doctor and that I would need to look over it and make suggestions/changes/etc.
I guess I should give you an update as to how Close Second is going. Well, first of all, Derek hasn't been to rehearsal this week at all, and isn't planning on showing up until Thursday. Consequently, I am training Logan to be his stand-in. Logan had a very different interpretation of the Voice, but everyone except me ended up liking his better than mine, so I gave him the OK to keep it. We also completely re-blocked the Big Cori & Justin Scene.
Tomorrow's agenda? Get up early but sleep late somewhere in town. Buy duct tape at some point. Go have lunch with the Women of the Powell Clan - and my mother - at 1:00. (Scary scary scary). Then go to The Space, hang out and possibly get something productive done. I need to duct tape an extension cord to a light fixture, and steal some chairs from Metcalf Lab School. (Yes, I am serious.)
Oh, my Godf, there is so much to do! Not the least of which is getting my Sound Disaster together. Holy Mary Mother of Godf, I have so much to do. So many more important things to do that are much more important than blogging. And yet...here I am. Blogging. He he. Oh well, that's why I was born an Insomniac. So that I could get Everything done. (Notice the fact that Everything begins with a capital E now.)
And Godf is spelled with an F. (Speaking of which, there are new letters in the Ryan & Kellie Summer Files. Letter 4 and Letter 5 are here at last!)
Monday, July 24, 2000 @ 2:03 AM
I used to baby-sit for a small child who had a condition known as overtiredness, or fighting sleep. She would cry and cry and cry because she was miserable because she was tired, not realizing that all she had to do to stop being tired was to stop crying and go to sleep. Why am I bringing this up? Well, I am starting to think that yesterday's overtired infants are today's insomniacs.
Just a thought.
I don't have anything substantial to say, I'm too tired and far too happy. No one cares what happy people have to say. Happy people should shut up, because when you're miserable all those cliches that happy people spout just don't make you feel any better, and the only people who will listen to you and know that you're right about anything are the people that have better things to do than listen to you in the first place. When you're miserable you're interesting. When you're happy, you're just... dull. Luckily if you're happy you're not as concerned with being fascinating, you're busy being happy. It's really a pretty fair trade, I guess. If anything, happy people get the better end of the deal.
Am I incoherent yet? I can't tell.
Once again: We'reallgonnaeatyou!!!
Once again I would like to link to the Stick & Co. Productions site.
We'reallgonnaeatyou!
Um. Big day tomorrow, I'll be in The Space at 8 AM, switching the bad chairs for good chairs, re-hanging the black paper, etc...Fun fun fun fun fun! It's 1:26 AM and I feel... a little funny...
Sunday, July 23, 2000 @ 3:11 PM
I have to say this again: Technology can be a bitch.
Today I'm going to Wal-Mart to buy lots-o-stuff for my show, including a plant which I am going to cruelly neglect and murder. (*Evil cackling.*) Those of you who don't know, this is for the show Close Second, written and directed by (drumroll please) me. (Time for some shameless self-promotion.) Performances will be this weekend, (28, 29, 30) at 7:00, 7:00, and 2:00 on Sunday, in ISU's Centennial West room 202. Uber theatre is coming! Uber theatre is free!
Phone calls are expected, so I need to be getting offline. (Oh, pity me, I have only one phone line. *Whining.*) I'll write more later. Probably.
Tonight I went to a party at Eva's, and it was crazy. We played Truth or Dare. Both Dan and Josh had to do lap dances. It was a very entertaining evening. Logan missed out, he went to Geoff Evan's house instead. (For those of you who don't know, that's the guy, Sammi's ex-boyfriend, who she cheated on Josh with.)
"Were you guys at Geoff's house tonight?" "Is he dead?" -Kellie & Josh
Dan gave me a ride home, and while he was pulling out of the driveway, he hit Bon-Bon, (Megan's car). There doesn't appear to be any damage to either car, but it gave us a scare when the car alarm started going off. Oh, and if you want to hear some more gossip,
Great news! U-High.Com is back...Or at least...it should be...soon... I am going to pay St-- I mean...Admin...$5 for an e-mail address @u-high.com. If you would also like an address, talk to...the Admin. You all know who I mean. (God I'm a bitch sometimes.) But not as much of a bitch as my computer is being right now. Goddamn! Technology! AUGH!
Friday, July 21, 2000 @ 12:46 PM
Almost twelve hours since my last post. I went ahead and made a webring for blogs: Boho Blogs. Go, now, go.
Very early this morning I got a phone call from Logan that he wanted to skip D&D and hang out with me instead. I had slept for approximately three hours when I got this phone call, and my mother was ready to walk out the door. I said, "Thanks but no thanks." The moral of this story: Advance notice is a good thing.
Eric has changed his mind again. Now he's not directing Gray Matter, and Mike Skolmoski will be directing Soccer in Time. So what is Eric going to do? He's going to write something new. Performances are eight days away. Is it just me, or is there something wrong with this picture?
"What's the time? Well, it's gotta be close to midnight..." -Mimi, Rent, Jonathan Larson
Last night's rehearsal went...okay. Kat is my new Assistant Director because Cori had to replace Stephanie, who quit. It could be worse, I could be in Eric's shoes right now. (For that matter, Eric's shoes ever.)
Today was fun, I spent most of the day with Logan, then argued with Cori as to whether Kathleen lived at 13 Drake Court or 31 Drake Court (I was right.), then I re-lived grade school for two hours with Kat & Betsy. Before anyone else showed up to the party, I had to leave because I went to see Taming of the Shrew at Shakespearefest. Despite it's overtly mysoginistic plot, it was a very entertaining evening of theatre. During the infamous Sun/Moon Scene, the live pig onstage started to squeal uncontrollably. The actors were forced to pause and await it's silence. After a few moments the pig was only getting louder. Finally, an ad lib became necessary: The bus driver simply said to the extra holding the pig, "Get off!" The man then carried the piglet off the stage, and after a moment or two of laughter, the dialogue finally resumed.
I think seeing Shakespeare, for some reason, makes me talk smarter than usual for a few hours.
Wednesday, July 19, 2000 @ 8:32 AM
I do not wish to be awake right now, and yet, I am. C'est la vie. Directors Meeting at 1:00 in "the space" and play practice at 3:00 in Bone - if everyone can swing that. Stephanie quit my show. Eric cancelled Two Gay Guys because he couldn't get his actors to consistently show up. He'll be directing the lesser version of Gray Matter, Two Electrons, and a piece by Mike Skolmoski about time-travelling drunken Scottish soccer fans. If you are interested in "auditioning" (notice the "'s) you call Eric at: 451-1638.
As always, feel free to e-mail me. But I'm not likely to respond until late tonight/early tomorrow. If you need to talk to me, page me: 454-0121.
Tuesday, July 18, 2000 @ 4:09 PM
I am bored. And I feel lousy. I'm getting offline, I probably will not be back for several hours. Oh, and I thought I should say that all times are in Central Standard Time.
This is a letter I got yesterday from Ryan Donovan. This is my reply. This is the third in the set so far. There may or may not be a fourth.
This Boy is Toast has a Diablo II addiction that reminds me of what Neal was talking about yesterday at McDonald's. He claims that the Questlog button kept appearing in the corner of his field of vision. While he was awake.
Midnight Cheese filled out my Survey.
I am home sick today. Who gets sick in the summer, I ask you? I will tell you - No one. No one except me. I am going on the computer for half-hour blocks, but after that long, my eyes start to water and I have to go back and lie down.
I saw X-Men yesterday with Logan and Neal. It wasn't the kind of movie I usually watch, but it was interesting. Nice special effects (of course), and a couple jokes I got because Logan the Fanatic filled me in. Logan nearly lost his backpack. (And my script and my notebook which were inside.) But, after searching the theatre and McDonald's, the backpack was finally recovered. Logan is still a ditz. =)
A game for y'all to amuse yourselves with: The Bubble Game.
Monday, July 17, 2000 @ 9:12 AM
I am tired. For some stupid reason I watched The Blair Witch Project again last night on Showtime. (We got a free weekend preview. Who knew?) Then I watched the Showtime Original Picture The Burkitsville 7 which was basically hype for the movie with some really disturbing images of a mental institution. I could talk more about this, but why? The point is, I stayed up too late, now my hair is wet, I'm tired, and I'm about to see Logan for the first time in 4 days. This is obviously one of those "bad-but-good-but-bad...but-good" situations.
I got a nice, long e-mail from Ryan Donovan this morning!!! Yea!!! When I get home (to my HTML editor and my FTP client) I'll save and edit and upload and link it, and my reply. This is my only update for the day, because 1.) I'm not at home and B.) I'm lazy and tired. Like anyone cares. I bet I don't even have "frequent visitors!"
Sunday, July 16, 2000 @ 6:53 PM
Today I had a director's meeting at Steak & Shake, and William (my little brother, the Quinn of my Daria-ness) had baseball games in Peoria. Which meant: For an 1 1/2 hour meeting at 1:00, I had to wake up at 9:00 and go to town, spend the morning at my grandmother's house, then go back there and wait until 5:00. Oh, the joys of living out of town and not having a license!
I did drive today...In fact, I drove us to McDonald's for some breakfast, my dad, my mom, and Will. I had never driven through a drive-thru before...And my dad yelled at me to get in the drive-thru lane of the parking lot. Then he yelled, "STOP!" because there was a truck about to hit me. Once I finally calmed down and got out of the way there was a fight. It began with my dad asking, "What do you think caused that?" and me saying, "You telling me to get into a lane where there was a truck," and ended with my dad getting out of the car and walking away. Maybe we'll get lucky and we won't hear from him for a few weeks.
As a result of being stranded in town at my grandomther's, I didn't get to work (translation: play) on the net. I watched some lame 70's game shows on Game Show Network (another of those things that shouldn't exist but does, like Chewy Spree & Diet Caffeine Free Mountain Dew), and all but the last half an hour of the movie Malice. I am going to have to rent that and find out how it ends.
I am really disappointed with the alarming lack of e-mail in my Inbox and messages on my answering machine. I guess I am just too dull to write to. Dammit. Write to me! I need e-mail! I don't like the idea that I am just talking to myself, sending pointless questions and babbling into The Void. I would like some response, to know that someone is listening. So please, take a minute or two out of your busy net-surfing life and e-mail me.
Saturday, July 15, 2000 @ 6:58 PM
I got to thinking today about...well...a lot of things. I got to thinking about how, when I saw American Pie last summer, it freaked me the hell out. And when I watched it two weeks ago at Steve Agge's house, it just made me laugh. Eric might say that I "grew less uptight" over the past few months.
I wonder if maybe, if I saw Scary Movie again in a few months, it would seem funny instead of nauseating...It's something to think about.
This made me think some more about the issue of Eric's play, Two Gay Guys, the Cops, and a Dead Body. In case you aren't a frequent visitor, I'll fill you in. The play has been found offensive by Dan & Karen Irvin, the parents of Justin Irvin, the star of my show, Close Second. So offensive, in fact, that they insist on pulling Justin out of the show if Eric's play and mine are on the same bill. This is a problem, obviously. This is also a form of censorship. Eric's play may be offensive, it may be rude...But he had every right to write and he has every right to direct it. The actors have every right to perform in it. Stick & Co. Productions has every right to produce it. Scary Movie is an offensive and low-quality film. But I don't dare question it's right to be playing in theatres. It may have even warped my fragile little mind. So what?
I suppose the right-wingers would argue with me that movies like Scary Movie and plays like Eric's are causing the country to deviate from Family Values, and causing us to become more obscene and maybe even more immoral. But I agree with Eric. They're causing society to become less uptight.
My mother has totally twisted logic. She wouldn't let me see X-Men with my friends, but she let my dad drag me to see Scary Movie with him. It was the most vulgar and obscene thing I have ever seen. It was like American Pie and South Park combined, and then some. There were a few clever moments, I admit, but mostly it was just obscenity for the sake of obscenity. And I might say this: It is not a movie to see with a parent. At least it was my dad, my dad is a lot cooler that say, Justin's dad, who would walk out inside the first two minutes. The kids who sat behind us in the theatre were more funny than the entire film. One of them had already seen it, and they were hilarious...
(After the previews, before the film started...) "Wow. Based on the previews, this movie's going to suck!" "Psspht! Based on this movie, this movie's going to suck!!!"
Well, I finally have a page on Josh's Buddies Page at Vasconia. Josh hasn't thought of anything to say about me yet though, or put up the picture that I sent him, it's just my Turn On/Turn Off list. I think it's amusing how my friends pages say mostly nice things, and Josh's just make fun of people.
Friday, July 14, 2000 @ 11:08 AM
Well, it's been a dull morning. I'm just netting and moping about being grounded. I am not allowing myself to fret about...anything. I am upset that I do not get to see Children of Eden, or X-Men, or Three Doors Down play live in Peoria. Why did I have to get grounded this of all weekends?? And if my family is home tomorrow, they will monopolize the comuter and I will die of boredom. I suppose I do have a lot of reading to do though. When I was in Chicago, I bought The Portrait of Dorian Gray, Gloria Steinem's Three Lives, and a book of poems by Emily Dickinson. I still have not finished any of these three books, because my social life and the internet are major distractions.
Anyway, I guess if Will has baseball, I'll be online tomorrow, making updates, working on the Writings Portfolio I'm building, etc...And if they're home, I'll be hiding in my room with lots of books and office supplies.
Whenever I think of the Post-It Notes I bought, I get this calm and happy feeling. I am such a weirdo.
While I am grounded, I can leave the house only for play practice. I let everyone go at 7:00 so they could see Children of Eden or sleep. Because of this, I ended up having to go with my mom to Wal-Mart. While I was walking around in Wal-Mart, I got to thinking about the ways that people are different when they are in relationships. The first thing that I personally noticed was that happy songs didn't annoy me nearly as much. For instance, that really cheesy song, "I Can't Get Enough of You Baby" or whatever, from the Can't Hardly Wait soundtrack. I used to actively hate that song. The other day it came on the radio, and I didn't even cringe. I even found myself tapping my foot. It's not like I'm going to go and download it from Napster or anything, but it really...doesn't bother me anymore...
Then there's PDA. I have always believed that there is a difference between PDA (Public Displays of Affection) and PDH (Public Displays of Hormones). The first is okay, and the second is not. The trouble lies in telling the difference. If you are single, you can always tell the difference, because you are an objective witness. If you are the person involved, you are not nearly as impartial. The line gets blurry. I think I draw the line at under the clothing touching. This does not belong in public. To tell the truth, I don't think people should kiss in front of other people either, but as many of my friends can tell you, I am a total hypocrite on this one.
Also, I have noticed that now that I am happy, I can't write any good poetry. It is all really bad. I tried digging into my old misery, but it's just...so...unimportant, or something. I wrote a couple cheesy poems the other day, and it almost seemed like an accomplishment. Fortunately, I am kind of distracted from my Writer's Block by the reason for it. Except now that I am grounded, there are no distractions...I have all this free time, that I should be using to write my first novel or something, except that I have no inspiration and no motivation. I'm not even sad...I'm just...blah! Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored!
Thursday, July 13, 2000 @ 10:57 AM
Grounded. (Yesterday's post explains why.) Bored. (For obvious reasons.) Talking to my good friend in New Hampshire, Ryan Donovan, over AIM. Doug is also online, if you want to pester him his screen name is dtborst2.
Listening to my favorite MP3's today, and thinking about updates I could make to Never Better...I have already put up lots of new stuff...I am also working on the Blog Template, so by the time you're reading this, there should be a column along the right side...
Well, check out the updates page to see what's new, and respond to my recent postings on the
message board.
Maybe I'll write more later, if I think of something interesting to talk about.
Well, you're all just going to love this: I'm grounded until Monday. Expect me online 24/7 until the groundation gets repealed. And you know what that means! Updates!!!
I have to stay home during the day and I can only leave the house for play practice. This means: Play practice on Friday is cancelled, but don't tell my mother, I'll be going to see X-Men with Dan, Eric, and hopefully Logan. I will be home during the day (8 AM till 5 PM) if anyone wants to drive all the way out to Lexington to hang with me.
I have never been grounded before. What happened was, the other night I went out to dinner after cancelling play practice and was, like, half an hour late meeting my mom. She didn't ground me though I expected her to. Then today, I lied to her, I said that Logan's mom was home when I was there, which wasn't true, and she called me on it and asked to speak to her. Of course, she didn't catch me in the second part of the lie, if she had, I would probably be in bigger trouble than I already am.
I would call my mom a moo-cow, but if I were her, I might be pissed off too...About being late, I mean. Not about the lying. Not after seeing "Cheaters" on HBO.
I still stand by all my old principles: Tell your parents what they want to hear. Give them the illusion that they are in control. Then do what you have to do to make your life your own.
We'reallgonnaeatyou!!!
Sunday, July 09, 2000 @ 11:57 AM
Went camping. Got eaten alive by misquitoes. Didn't have the bestest of times. For you see, I did a very, very stupid thing...
I walked, barefoot, about 7/8 of the way from the beach to the campsite yesterday. (That probably doesn't sound nearly as far as it actually was, plus you must consider the fact that I got lost twice.) So now, (in addition to my 34 misquito bites - yes I counted) I have several gigantic blisters.
Also, (because I didn't mention to anyone I was going on this little trek) Eva chewed me out, Stephanie made me feel so guilty that I cried, and Kathleen slapped me. This, the afternoon after I find out Josh thinks that I have issues and that I am a liar. Good thing these people are my friends, or I might get really upset.
On the plus side, 4th of July, though it had a rough start, turned out pretty nice. And I got everything, including my pager, back from Dan and we both said we were sorry, and it is all okay now.
And on the other plus side, I will be seeing Logan, and Stephanie and Julie, tomorrow.
Monday, July 03, 2000 @ 2:28 PM
Well, last night Dan blew up at me and I burst into tears. And Justin's mother isn't sure if she is going to let him be in my play because she thinks that Eric's may be "inappropriate." I was semi-attacked on the message board by Josh & Cori. I have not had the best morning ever. There is going to be a company meeting today for the cast & directors of "Close Second," at Maxwell Park from 6:00-7:00. I am both excited and absolutely terrified. Because of what happened last night with our ride going back on his word, Logan can't leave his house, and Dan has my purse and my shoes, among other things.
I have no plans for the 4th of July. Would you care to contact me and change that??? Don't page me though, because Dan has my pager. (Insert swear words and tears.)
Blah. I'm very tired.
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