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Friday, June 30, 2000 @ 8:58 PM
Um - I might as well right about this, it's no secret, sooner or later you will all know anyway. Logan and I are going out now. (That's right, Kellie's actually found someone. Someone who makes her happy. You may now close your gaping mouths and bite your tongues.)
Yeah. So...
This is the cast list for my show:
Alex Justin Irvin Angela Eva Visscher-Simon Holly Stephanie Krimmer Mike/Agent/Voice Derek Webb Assistant Director Cori Raney
So. Anyway. Yeah. Um. Someday, this is going to have a little sidebar with links to all the cool blogs I've been reading lately. Someday.
Go post on the message board, everyone. Go. Now. Go!
Wednesday, June 28, 2000 @ 9:19 AM
There were about 1/4 the number of auditioners we needed who actually showed up last night. I am going to make one last plea: Try out for the Stick & Co one-acts. They are going to be fun, I promise. They are tonight and tomorrow (Thursday) night, 5:00 to 8:00, in Maxwell Park pavillion. We need you. That's right, you. You don't have to prepare anything, you don't need any experience. C'mon, you know you want to. Please? Please? Please? Please?
I'll be online all day, playing Yahoo Euchre and exploring sites. Unfortunately, there's no FTP or HTML editor program on this computer, or word processing, and, stupid me, I left my disk at home with the script on it anyway, so there's really nothing constructive for me to do anyway.
Don't forget! You are going to Maxwell Park tonight at 5:00!
Monday, June 26, 2000 @ 8:34 PM
What I really need to do is get together a thing to link to all those blogs I like to visit repeatedly. That way I do not lose track of any. That will be my next mission.
Looks like I'm going to be in town all day every day from now on. (Good thing I found my pager.) I can make lots of money working for my dad or I can try to get a real job. Hmm...Let me think...
A big thanks to Tom, who talked me through my little irrational episode at Cori's house the other night, and also linked me. Of course I will return the favor, allow me to present:
Blue Lines.
Don't forget about auditions! Tomorrow, Wednesday, & Thursday from 5-8:00 at Maxwell Park. This means you!!! The five directors need a minimum of 28 actors. And damn, we are going to be fighting it out...I am really lucky to be directing a four-person show. I'm a little worried, to tell the truth. But I'm more excited than worried. It's all going to be OK.
It would be a hell of a lot better if I could find my U-High directory! Dammit...
...Well after that last post I feel a little silly, but no matter, there is big news:
STICK & CO. PRODUCTIONS AUDITIONS FOR SUMMER ONE-ACTS WILL BE TUESDAY (tomorrow) WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY FROM 5:00-8:00 AT MAXWELL PARK. FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL (309)365-8006 OR PAGE (309)454-0121.
Tell your friends, your enemies, and people you pass on the street!
Now that the shameless promotion is over, I'll tell you what else is up with me. This is up with me: All my friends are coupling but somehow I'm not getting upset about it. I keep hearing through the grapevine how bitchy I am. Josh claims he sent me e-mail messages that (surprise surprise) I never got. I finally found my pager. I have $7 to my name so I'm printing out about 70 copies of my script...as soon as I'm finally finished proofreading. I saw Titan A.E. this weekend, it was actually not that bad considering that it was animated and also sorta cheesy. The plan for today is to run around the ISU campus all morning, using their supplies to prepare for my auditions and having lunch with my father - so I can beg him for money.
Saturday, June 24, 2000 @ 4:18 AM
It's really really late, and I'm at Cori's house. Cori, Stephanie, Lane...everyone in the house is asleep. I wish I was.
I couldn't sleep. Worse than regular insomnia, I am creeped out. I am *totally* on edge. God, I am such an idiot. I have absolutely no reason to be afraid. But my heart is beating a mile a minute. So I'm upstairs, at Cori's computer. I turned all the lights on. I thought I could calm down if I could just talk to someone online. Anyone. But AOL doesn't have that "Find Random Chat" thing that ICQ has, and I don't have Cori's ICQ password. Oh, the irony.
The only person on AIM is "thaminder." I don't know him, and he has an away message on. God, I am so afraid. I thought getting online would calm me down. I mean, I've stayed up typing and surfing until 6 AM before and never gotten creeped out. But that was in my own house, with my dog and my family...And I wasn't watching Urban Legend or reading Fear Street. That's right, I read an entire Fear Street book cover to cover. Like I said, I am an idiot. I should have stuck to reading Cori's teen magazines or something. God I am so freaked out. I keep thinking I hear footsteps...
Please, if you are reading this, and it's still today - did that make sense - get on AIM right now. Cori's sn is AhFluty1. I don't care if I don't know you, just please, I'm begging you, talk to me before I scare myself anymore.
Friday, June 23, 2000 @ 2:52 PM
I decided I needed to elaborate on what I said yesterday about being incredibly tired or incredibly hungry and not being sure which. Partly because when I read it back I realize how confusing that was, and partly because I woke up feeling the same as I did the night before. I don't exactly know what's wrong but I feel exhausted. My stomach feels very empty but I have no apetite whatsoever. I feel dizzy, my eyes hurt, and my throat is dry. Maybe I'm coming down with something.
Justin is having his film festival at 5:30 today. Cori is going to come and pick me up and take me there, and I think I'm spending the night at her house. I may try to write more from Cori's house. We'll see.
Check out: MSCL.COM. The authoritative site for My So-Called Life. The show went off the air five years ago and I am still completely enamoured (sp?) with it.
I'm going exploring today. Wish me luck.
I am either incredibly tired or incredibly hungry. I'm not really sure. Just to be on the safe side I am going to eat some popcorn and go to sleep. American Beauty was a serious kick in the head.
Hope you like the Blog's new look. (Did I mention that I had this thing for days before I noticed that "blog" is a noun or verb. "Blogger" refers to a blogging tool or one who blogs. I am an idiot. (Woah. I'm saying that a lot lately.)
I really need to go to bed. But I am waiting on a download from Napster. REM's "Man on the Moon."
I have not received a real e-mail in days. I don't care if I know you or not, I want to hear from you. Tell me anything. Anything. Seriously. I really need to get inspired. Write to: kellie@blackglass.org. Write. Please.
Thursday, June 22, 2000 @ 6:53 PM
I bought a new notebook. Joy of joys. Page after age of blank paper. Endless possibilities.
I left my house today for the first time in 3 days. I hung out with Cori and Justin for a few hours. I have to stop doing that, it drives me crazy. They are such a couple. I don't mean that in a bad way, of course, but being the third wheel gets awkward.
Right now I am longing. For inspiration. For connection. For...stimulus of any kind. Boredom has seized me. Even my eyebrows are bored. And I can't get inspired. I feel like everything worth saying has already been said a million times before. I'm going to be working on elongating Close Second tonight and watching American Beauty and Being John Malkovich. I think if I still don't get inspired to write some poetry or tell a story, I'll write a novel about nothing at all. A la Salinger's Catcher in the Rye.
The word of the day? Longing.
Did you know that Cruel Intentions is based on the old movie Dangerous Liasons? And you should all watch Twelve Monkeys and Stir of Echoes. Kevin Bacon is over-rated, but it is a good movie. Sort of Sixth-Sense-esque. (I'm becoming Cori! Oh God!)
I miss R.E.M. I'm going to Napster myself some R.E.M.
Wednesday, June 21, 2000 @ 9:55 AM
I broke down and downloaded O Fortuna from Carmina Burana. I have only listened to it once. I got some Green Day though. I like Green Day a lot. Kathleen asked me what I would do if it was my last day on Earth. I told her I'd write a really poetic goodbye letter to everyone, kiss a few people just for the hell of it, get drunk on Sour Apple Pucker, and listen to Green Day.
If I had a band, do you know what I'd name it? I'd name it "Just Add Water."
If you read my journal, you already know that I never went to bed last night. (I am an idiot.) I spent practically all night getting enough Monologues together to get the Monologue Database up and running. I've already forgotten why I went to all the trouble. I'm thinking of starting a new webring though. I'll call it "Just Mangled Guts Pretending," which is another reference to Angels in America.
I will never have quite enough MP3's...Viva Napster!
I'm still not sure if there was a point to creating this Blogger or not, since my Journal at DiaryLand is basically the same thing. This is better though, I get to customize the template. I really should make a cooler template though. Oh well, that'll have to be my next project.
Ahh...Summer...
Tuesday, June 20, 2000 @ 11:06 PM
My Sonique player now has exactly 100 MP3's. This makes me sort of proud, or happy, or something, I don't know. The fact that I have everything from Eminem to Garbage to Vertical Horizon to The Rolling Stones to Harry Chapin to Jann Arden to Secret Garden to Little Shop of Horrors is also quite amazing to me. I have everything from current alternative and pop songs to 60's music, even stuff that was -never- popular. All I really need are a few tracks from Carmina Burana to be really complete. I kind of think that my eclectic taste in music makes me a walking contradiction. Or at least a complex and wonderful person. But what do you think?
Today I was anti-social again. I have talked to no one outside my immediate family for the past two days, except on AOL instant messenger. I'm not sure why, when I'm looking for connection, I am being this way. Maybe I'm just fed up with everyone. Maybe I'm just taking a break from the same old people, who don't understand me and share my secrets even though I ask them not to. Maybe I'm in mourning. Maybe I'm being unfair. Maybe I'm being pissy. Josh told me late last night that I was being pissy. It was true. I was attacking him for no good reason. Maybe I should be nicer to these people, they are my friends. I think by Thursday I'll be ready to leave the house, maybe I'll talk Justin into having a film festival. If he does, I'm going to bring Twelve Monkeys. I love that movie. It is one of two movies in which I really like Brad Pitt. (The other is Fight Club.) It is also one of three movies in which I really like Bruce Willis (The others being Sixth Sense and The Last Boy Scout.)
I write this because I am looking to connect. Find faces in the void. So reading this is not enough. You have to write to me. The address, in case you've forgotten, or in case you never knew to begin with, is kellie@blackglass.org. Write. Please.
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