I Can Build You

By Joe Brofcak

Philip K. Dick, a struggling science fiction author, has summoned the FBI to his home to investigate a recent burglary. Phil's safe has been blown open, and his writings and other valuables have been stolen - including a kilo of cocaine Phil planned to sell in order to escape from debt. When he finds that the FBI are not amenable to investigating the suspects he presents, he grows increasingly agitated.


Thanks for coming so soon. I have reason to believe that my papers, which contain many startling philosophical observations and possibly the precise documentation of numerous inevitable futures, have been stolen by the Soviet Russians, or even extra-terrestrials of extreme intelligence. In addition, I cannot rule out the possibility that it was the FBI or the CIA, sent on a covert mission sanctioned by the dangerously paranoid President of the United States himself.

It is entirely possible that one of my stories have come too close to the actual, real truth of closely guarded national secrets protected by triplicate layers of redundant top secret clearances and security protocols. Given this, the two Super Powers, locked in nuclear standoff for over two decades, have become so desperate for any advantage that they have asked certain paramilitary divisions to steal the intellectual property of visionaries in many fields. And I'm onto this shit!

This monologue is from the one-act play I Can Build You by Joe Brofcak. If you would like to read the entire play, you can purchase and download an electronic copy (PDF) of the script for $7.00.

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Terms of Use: You may perform this monologue as long as you do not receive money for doing so. You are free to use this piece for auditions, theatre courses, talent shows, open mics, etc. You must acknowledge what play the monologue is from, and who wrote it. If you wish to perform this monologue commercially, or to perform or produce any other portion of the play, or the full play, you must obtain a contract from the playwright, Joe Brofcak.

This monologue is brought to you by The Monologue Database and These Aren't My Shoes Productions.